Despite how suave you might think you are, anyone who owns a baby gate can not say they’ve never experienced some ridiculous injury from it. Baby gates keep babies safe and parents in a constant limbo of bruises, stubbed toes and lacerated shins. And those are just the witnessed injuries. I’m quite positive that my husband has a secret cache of baby gate stories that he hasn’t told me because he fears me asking if the baby gate is broken – and not him.
My favorite baby gate injury is the “I thought I opened it before I decided to walk through it,” catastrophe. It is bad because you have no time to recoup and have no choice but to watch your entire injury from start to finish. Finish being you lying on top of the baby gate, your coffee halfway across the room with three dogs licking it up and your fingers pinched under the top edge of the gate because somewhere in that five foot fall you figured it was a good idea to hold on – bad idea.
So a word of caution to all baby gate users and their house guests who think they are tall enough and flexible enough to walk over them: You’re not. We are always watching. My security camera caught it and yes I intend to laugh about this behind your back for as long as it takes – or until you do it again. Because in baby gate land, fool me once/twice and thrice, does not exist.