Dear Body.

Dear Body,

You have been the bane of my self esteem ever since I was old enough to notice you were different.

You never looked like the other girls.

You never fit into the popular clothes. You just weren’t good enough.

Do you know that you were the reason I was bullied so badly? Do you feel guilty about that?

I hated how you never got along with jeans or tights. You never liked fitted clothing. You made me so unpopular.

You plagued me for years. I hated how you made me feel.

School would have been so much more fun if I didn’t spend every waking moment thinking about how you looked.

You were my dirty secret. I was so ashamed of you.

Worst part is, you never cut me any slack. You reminded me daily why I disliked you so much.

You followed me all the way to college where you really laid into me. You told me I was fat and that no one would ever see past that.

You never stopped me when I decided to stop eating. Why would you do that to me?

You fueled my insecurities by making me obsessed with perfect bodies.

You never stopped me from dropping out of college. You must have hated me.

I hated you.

—————————–

Dear Body,

Why couldn’t we have communicated better?

It’s like we were trapped in a bad relationship.

I should have never blamed you or made you feel responsible.

Thank you for reminding me that I was always different. You must have known all along that deep down I never wanted to be anyone but myself.

Those tight jeans were never me. You saved me from painting a false image of myself to other people.

Those boys that liked those tiny girls never liked them for the right reasons. Thank you for protecting me.

All of that bullying helped make me the strong woman I am today. You were protecting me.

You took me out of college to remind me of my worth.

After what I put you through, I’m so glad you stuck around.

We got a black belt together. Remember that?

You continually gave me second chances, even though I was undeserving.

You helped me realize that five extra pounds here or there didn’t define me.

We grew a healthy baby together.

We put on 35lbs and guess what, I didn’t care.

We’ve come a long way.

Please forget that I ever hated you. I was wrong.

Truth is, I love you. I love you now with your loose fit. I love you now with your lines and creases. I love you now more than I ever have.

Thank you for loving me back, all along.

– Mumzilla

 

 

 

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