‘Time flying’ doesn’t even begin to describe how quickly this past year went by. After having my son, I went through so many transitions, phases and emotions. It was foreign. And sometimes remains to be. However the biggest fear, believe it or not, was me leaving him and going back to work. It would occupy my thoughts at least once a day.
Well, I’m working again. Full time. 12 hours shifts. It’s hard. The night before I went back was disastrous. At least in my head. How can I leave this little person of whom I’ve spent copious amounts of continuous, intimate time with for 365 days?! Well, like all the other moms who return to work – you have too! No choice!
In the months to come I will likely start to take pride in my working situation and mom status. I will look at it as an accomplishment beyond all my other accomplishments. However right now, I am still in a vulnerable stage of partial denial, sadness, and transition.
But we will all be OK! This I know. On the list of horrific things – this doesn’t even rank.
I applaud the moms who return to work, I envy and applaud the moms who have the opportunity to stay home, and I look forward to the day when I can leave home and come back like it’s no big deal.