1. We bought a van. I could start and end my blog post there.
I was the anti-van. The “over my dead body” “don’t call my crossover a van” “vans come with soccer balls ‘mom.’ Then it happened. We had another baby and before I knew it I was crawling over the front seat or through the trunk to fit in a space that was more fitted for my 12 year olds hips… Not mine.
Then my mom scaled our crossover to get in that middle pre-teen sized seat and we quickly realized that our days without a van were done.
2. I did it. Quite inadvertently and rather unconsciously. I called my pants slacks. And what’s worse: I did it infront of my whole family. Not even my mother says ‘slacks.’
Somewhere in the high skies my Aunt and Grandma are nodding their heads with approval while laughing as I transition from short shorts mom to the ‘slacks’ lady.
3. I can’t stay up past 9:00 anymore. My body has this creepy time schedule where it knows that the number “9” is approaching. I find myself slurring, using the wrong words, and wishing I was already showered and ready for bed. And if I cut things too close I find the symptoms ten times greater with associated clumbsyness, mood swings and avoidance of lights.
Now I realize I’ve described myself as a vampire suffering a stroke but it’s all very true. I even pass up opportunities to watch The Vampire Diaries (yes I know I’m 32), Outlander and just the other night I turned down a foot rub – WTH?! Who turns down a massage!?
Anyone else catch my drift?
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go out and scotch guard my new van. Then if time permits I will try to get my new slacks pressed while planning out my early bedtime routine in my head. Go ahead, you can say it : I’m a party animal.